Animal Lover
by I'm Not Wearing Any Pants
Summary: PETA would be proud of Doctor Animo. No, really, they would.


I don't own any Ben 10 characters, nor do I claim. See, it's a joke. Because they're self-absorbed irrational nutcases, obsessed with attention and credibility, and are secretly abusive towards animals while claiming to love them. They also repeatedly harass everyone else who doesn't conform to their ideology.

"Uh oh, Doctor Anim-O!" yelled Ben Tennyson one day upon observing a trademark giant mutant frog in the vicinity of his school. He quickly raised his hand at the teacher. "Can I please be excused to save the world from an evil maniac?"

"Yes. But take a hall pass," she said before hiding under her desk.

"Hey, Gwen, get off Tumblr and come have fun with me instead of wasting your life pointlessly by being offended by everything, occasionally including things that are honestly offensive, but I don't realize it due to my massive privileges blinding me," Ben said as he wandered by his cousin for plot filler. "Let's go trash that dork, Doctor Animo."

"I would never allow for the dissection of frogs. I hate animal cruelty and things like the sometimes cruel perpetuation of science! That includes animal dissection and testing, if you didn't get that," Doctor Animo yelled. "Even though I pretty much do that type of thing myself when I dissect cryptids and sew them back together to make horrific fusions and engage in twisted genetic experiments that turn innocent creatures into my monstrous minions. And let's not forget I make them battle my enemies with complete disregard for either their or my own safety." He coughed into his hand. "Oh wait, no. Actually, forget all of that and pretend like it doesn't exist in canon! My bad."

"Exactly! Weeaboos don't care about expressly established canon details, you stupid fuck!" Ben yelled. He threw a rock at Doctor Animo's head before activating the Omnitrix.

"Hence the massive pile of ever growing parody material," Doctor Animo said angrily.

Gwen ran to alert the local authorities instead of hurling some magic mana at the good doctor's head. "What the hell? Aw, I never get to do anything cool! Just like in UAF. Oooh, buuurn!" She snickered. "Ha ha, I'm kidding. I still like UAF even though it had its low points. Like my horrifying malnutrition and giraffe neck."

"Don't forget the hilariously pervasive Same Face Syndrome," Ben reminded as he passed by on a unicycle. "Women are hard to draw. It's a fact! That's why we stick to one single template for every female and their body shape isn't as diverse as males."

"FUCK YOU, Omniverse IS SHIT! UAF is GODLIKE in its PERFECTION," someone who smelt of moldy cheese and rotten eggs and boundless irrational hatred cried from an unspecified location. "I MASTURBATE TO KEVIN'S CHIN EVERY NIGHT! But only if it's conventionally small and handsome."

Prof. Paradox suddenly appeared. "Now, now, children. Let's not mention future occurrences within a retro fic." And then he vanished.

"But HE just..." Gwen began.

"Let it go, Gwen," Ben said. He jumped from his randomly acquired unicycle. "Time to die, Animo!"

"NO U!" Doctor Animo yelled.

A beige prose battle ensued between Ben and Doctor Animo. It wasn't at all interesting. The authorities later arrived to collect their soundly defeated mad doctor who had been tied to a street light post.

The prison served frogs legs for dinner that evening. Doctor Animo cried hysterically instead of eating them with absolutely no concern from whence his sustenance was attained.

I am a huge fan of this show and I hope you can interpret that through the out of character nonsense I shit out on a daily basis. Also I hope no one finds out I actually got into this show in late 2013 only because someone told me there was a Secret Saturdays crossover. Because that would make me look soooo ridiculous and hypocritical, hahaha! Not like I've been looking for years in other fandoms. No sireeeeeeeeee.

Argost x Munya is canon, suck it, haters.

Oh, no wait, they're ugly as sin now. Can't ship it. Never mind.

D'Void x Mary Sue 4evr!

The End


End file.
